I Found My Long Lost Brother: 5 Ways Older Siblings Influence Our Lives

I was getting tired of the same old story:

“Everything was fine. Next thing we knew his mother put him on a plane to England and they were never to be seen or heard from again.”

It goes back to Kingston, Jamaica circa Spring 1984. Now, I don’t know all the details, mainly because I was a nine-month-old baby then. But I do know it was around the same time that my 11-year-old brother allegedly disappeared without a trace. My brother, Paul, is my father’s first child, from his first marriage. Somewhere along the line that relationship took a turn for the worse and, eventually, unbeknownst to my dad, his estranged wife packed her bags and relocated to London – with my big bro by her side. In August 1984, a birthday card arrived in the mail addressed to me. It was from Paul.

No return address.

Little did we know that would be the last time we’d hear from him. Numerous attempts to search for him both in Jamaica (in case he had returned) and in England – had all failed.

I’m not exactly sure what lit the fire under my butt again in September 2007, but I was determined to find this man. I scoured the Internet once again, only this time my search revealed a blog entry written by a man with the exact same name. I clicked on his name and read a short bio, and the key words “born in Kingston, Jamaica” were all I could focus on. I noticed a clickable link for readers to email the author, and that’s when I sent a letter I will never forget.

It was him. It was my brother.

paulandsasha

May 2011, Toronto’s Pearson Airport, Simons family reunited after 24 years.

Fast forward a few years and my brother and I reunited in Spring 2011 in Toronto, Canada at my father’s birthday party. He flew all the way here from England. I met his three sons and he met my daughters. He reunited with my big sister, whom he used to play with as a child. Our dad was able to rekindle a relationship with the son he thought he’d never see again. I thought these happy moments only happened on television.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

5 Reasons Why I Don’t Mind The Gap In My Siblinghood 

  1. We skipped out on all the fighting/sibling rivalry
suzieandsasha

sister and I at my 30th birthday party

There were no disagreements over candy, clothes, or which kid mommy and daddy loved the most. We were never in competition with each other. Our parents didn’t spend all their time putting us on time outs for pushing each other around.

  1. If you’re the younger one, you have someone whose advice you can really trust

You won’t always want to go to mommy and daddy and ask certain questions or tell-all when sh*t hits the fan. So, who else but a big brother or sister can you confide in when times get especially tough – or you have a big decision to make? In many cases, your older sibling has already been there and done that. They can also bail you out of jail, if necessary, in case you went with the wrong choice.

  1. You both have a period of experiencing only-child syndrome

Because there’s a 12-year gap between my sister and I, and I’m 11 years younger than my brother, you can bet I had my moment of feeling like I was the only one. And they had their time, too. It’s not a bad thing to get love from your parents, without feeling like you’ll never have their full attention.

  1. A magical thing starts happening as you get older, you become friends

Big sis and I hang out all the time, with her friends or mine, and that’s cool. We have a lot of fun. I hardly remember the age difference when we’re together…until the moment she starts reminiscing about her high school days and I realize I totally can’t relate.

  1. No hand me downs

It’s great to be the “baby” when your siblings are much older. What was theirs was theirs, and what was yours was always brand new! Amazing!

 

 

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11 comments

  1. beingsuziej · September 18, 2014

    Love it. Especially number 4 😊😍 P.S. So happy Paul was found. I remember the day you told me.

    Like

  2. Aubrey @ 53weeks · September 18, 2014

    Thanks for sharing! What a great story, glad you found your brother. And, I’ve never had an older sibling because I am the oldest, but I sure do hope they think of me this way.. 🙂

    Like

    • Sasha-Ann Simons · September 18, 2014

      Thanks for reading, Aubrey! I bet they do, because I’m sure you’ve been a great big sis 🙂

      Like

  3. Constance Jones (@ConstanceJones) · September 19, 2014

    I love this touching story. I meet my half brother 4 years ago. It was tough learning about him–buts always a great to have more family. Thanks for sharing this!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sasha-Ann Simons · September 19, 2014

      So happy to hear that! Getting to know a lost sibling is like starting all over again, but definitely worth it!

      Like

  4. nicole · September 19, 2014

    so cool. i am an only child. it makes me sad sometimes… when i read stuff LIKE THAT! kidding! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Annmarie thompson · September 19, 2014

    What can I say but you did it again….WOW….I know how you felt cuz I was also a part of the mystery but thank God for happy endings….Love it Sash!

    Like

  6. workingmommagic · September 22, 2014

    What an amazing story! Thanks for sharing!

    Like

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