I don’t mean that in the way of being bossy and telling others what to do and say; I mean I often have this burning desire to control outcomes. I want the end result of certain situations, especially ones involving me, to be exactly how I envision it from the start.
When I truly want something, I want it reaaaaaaally badly. In fact, I feel I deserve it. I stress about it. Nothing material, I’m talking about life goals. I can’t help it, I’m just me. But where do you draw the line, take the weight off your shoulders, and allow things to just happen?
“When you’ve done all you can…just stand.”
Here’s my attempt to dissect this need for control. If I’m being 100% honest:
- I get nervous when my life feels out of control
- I am terrified of failure and dread the consequences when things go wrong
- I worry about what others think way more than I should
- I don’t trust that anyone else can take care of things pertaining to me and my family, better than me
- I worry too much about the outcome of every endeavour
The words, “Let go and Let God” are on replay in my mind. It’s easy to misread the well-known phrase to mean that God is a magic problem-solver, a genie whose main job is to make us happy today. It’s easy to assume that casting our troubles on God means He will take our troubles away. Sometimes, He doesn’t – at least not right away.
Sometimes there’s a difference in what we want to give up and what we need to release. We might be holding tightly to something we think of as good, like better health for a loved one or getting that job we’ve dreamed of. And though it’s never wrong to desire good things, there are times when we have to let go of what we think is best.
Other times we grip tightly to assumptions about the way life “should” be. We think being a parent shouldn’t be so hard. Sometimes what we must give up are our preconceived notions of how life is supposed to work.
But in every case, what the phrase comes down to is this: We need to let go of our own will. We must reclaim the incredible power of prayer. I’ve been stressing over something major, and I just need to let go and let God do what God wills.
Note to self.